Man is a political animal. This is evident even in the most mundane human endeavors such as seating. An important aspect of a wedding planner’s job is the seating arrangement at the reception. All sorts of permutations come into play. X cannot be seated next to Y, Y cannot stand Z but all three must be seated at the same table as they are member of the same family! Even within international organizations such as the United Nations, which prides itself as the family of all nations, the “seating” diplomacy is on full display in the chambers as friendly countries are almost always seated in close proximity. Nowhere is what I call the politics of seating or standing as the case may be more visual than during photocalls of world leaders at international events.
ACA was no exception.
It was and still is an unwritten rule. Once you moved to a new, usually higher class, the jostling for seating positions started in earnest. You picked up your desk locker and chair, by ownership or appropriation, from your former class room and moved across to your new class room, where like birds, you attempt to find and sit close to other birds of similar plumage.
Of course, since the classes were largely kept together from our second year onwards, there was already a long-established seating order. Most people conformed to this established order but once in a while, this order is challenged when new people joined the classes for different reasons. The last thing anyone wanted to do was to upset the apple cart.
The politics of seating was particularly full of intrigues and high jinks in our final year. The principal and teachers had no say in the seating arrangement of the classes. This was the exclusive preserve of the students and we wanted to keep it that way. We were in SS3 and now finally in the topmost class in the school. We all felt on top of the world and proud of our achievements. We had seen how the school had changed over the years and the coming and going of principals. We had been living witnesses to important historical events in ACA.
We had witnessed the famous athletic rivalry between Badmus and Bullet which culminated in the ‘greatest’ 100m race at the interhouse sports in ‘84/’85, the humble beginnings of our greatest handball team under the tutelage of coach Gloria and how our ‘greatest’ football team lost to Stella Maris Okitipupa 3-0 in the Principal’s cup. We had witnessed in ‘85/’86 Jako’s surprising victory against all odds at the polls to be elected as the senior prefect in ACA which all but sounded the death knell for democracy in ACA, Foluso Amimi’s well deserved celebration as Mamser ambassador and Mr Klutse’s snake bite mishap. In ‘86/’87, history was made with the appointment of the first ever JSS leaders in ACA with Isu at’ewa Ayodele Omotoso as the first JSS leader and the year muturu was nearly cancelled as the errant cow made an ultimately doomed dash for freedom. ‘87/’88 during Olusola Oki’s set brought us the best 100m finalists in any 100m race and the incredible last 20m acceleration of the eventual winner Shoremi. Well, ‘88/’89 brought the ill-mannered superiority contest between the Special five class and our SS2 class. And finally, ‘89/90 offered the ‘No mock’ saga, ERA’s tight regime and extension classes and the passing out of the first set of ACA students that sat the SSCE examinations. I know I have digressed and I sincerely apologize.
So, it was 1990 and we were all in SS3, SS3:3 to be specific for me. In my opinion, there were three cardinal rules of engagement in terms of the politics of seating:
Firstly, avoid sitting at the very front at all cost. Sitting at the front was like being in the line of fire. In some cases, literally. Front seats were within the striking distance of one of ERA’s famous jaw smashing back handers. Also, you could never “make noise” at the front during lessons. To compound issues, teachers also had a penchant for putting front row students on the spot by picking on them to answer questions. In summary, there was no where to hide at the front – this was in the eye of the storm. Of course, sitting at the front was inevitable for some students due to their ‘bad sight’ in order to be able to read what was on the blackboard.
The other two cardinal rules were that the smaller or shorter boys sat at the front and that the bigger boys at the back. Therefore, if you were of a small stature, the first rule was off the table for you as you would have fallen foul of the second rule. My dearest brother Gbenga Musa of old is my living witness 😊
Of course, to every rule, there is always an exception. Well two exceptions as the case may be. This is where the enigmatic Niyi Ogunlusi Ogunze Ogo piun and Aro babs come into play. Aro babs sat just away from the front row because of his big mouth. With his powerful mouth, he was taller than anyone in the class! No one wanted to be on the receiving end of his mouth in a humbling game of Akoti. As for Niyi, he sat even further back than Aro babs. Truth be told, Niyi took the last seat next to the side wall at a 90 degrees angle. This prime real estate was traditionally reserved for the big, troublesome boys but how Niyi managed to achieve this feat unchallenged should be a case study in wit beating brawn. Smaller framed boys like Lebelebe, Moro, Pius and my elite club brother Gbenga Musa were not as lucky. They were thrust right in the eye of the storm.
Egbon Gani took the window seat. No explanation needed and I wasn’t going to be one to challenge Egbon’s claim to the window seat. Sharing the window seat, with Egbon Gani was Obe kra kra and Ayo Omotoso. I guess this was part of the perks of the office of the Senior prefect! Two columns away, Jaspana Adeoba Banjo sat at the back. While most of us were still struggling to grow hair on our heads, Adeoba had already grown a moustache! So naturally, he owned the back seat. Mr Marvellous sat just ahead of Jaspana. I sat close to the backrow seats right in front of Mr Marvellous and just behind Omobaba Muyiwa Adeliyi. Abiodun Abe City Oloye and Kunle Romario Olutimehin also sat in the area. This area I must say was the center of gravity for the famous regular Quizzes that was organized in our class.
On the other end of the class i.e. the set of windows facing the assembly ground, sat Omilabu Taiwo, Cow Kunle Olujuyigbe, Sasara Sesan Sunday Ajayi and Ademola Zaccheus. Foluso Amimi, Kehinde Akerele and Bokimbo also formed their own tight axis in that area.
All these groupings were powerful in their own right but none more so than the real axis of power in the class, in my humble opinion. They were the cool set. All sorts of shenanigans emanated from this power group. This group had a hand in every ‘famous’ activity in our class or our year. Members of this group included Topiro Tope Omojayogbe, Alejo, Olubunmi Egunjobi and Oxzy Omololu.
It is a rare feat not to belong to any of the cliques in the class. A feat achieved only by a handful. One of such people was Ropo Mistake Owoeye. He was a one-man battalion on a mission. He was happy to have a seat anywhere, for as long as it was within the class. He was unencumbered by the territorial pride that many of us had. He had no time for frivolities and was either reading or engaging in one academic argument or the other. He was also always eager to explain any scientific problem to anyone who cared to listen. I hope he eventually found his calling.
30 plus years on, I wonder if we were to sit in our classes today, I wonder what the seating arrangement would be. Who will sit next to who…which power groupings will emerge…in the Politics of seating.
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