Akoti folklore: Ojo bottom’s is a displacement

March 1987. We were in class and cracking jokes. It is not a normal day as we were supposed to have social science and the teacher did not turn up. We were usually elated about these free periods as all the *akotis* start, different games are played but the best of all, some scuffles usually happen. By scuffles, I mean fight. We have lightweight, the ones I am involved in where you brag forever but nothing happens😜. Usually, it is between someone of the same deposition as me. Fake strength but a good mouth. Then we have the middleweights. These are fights where you can see that the bragging may lead to a fight but there will some kind of laying of hands with some proper tirades and others, goading them on. Unlike nowadays that everybody goes and calls a teacher or brings their parents. I do not need to describe the heavyweight fights. Use your imagination 😁! If I mention names now, they still can come and beat me up o! However, we tend to get some lightweight fights that can turn into heavyweight. Well, not quite but close.

An example of such is when two of my class members - Ojo Ayodeji and Jegede Ezekiel were going at it. The argument suddenly become a square up and both of them had eyes flaring ... it was heating up to be a heavyweight fight. The tussle started but very few blows were thrown but nothing landed. It was more of a Frank Bruno Vs George Foreman where you know it will be a slow burn and it will be decided by points and a split decision rather than a Mike Tyson Vs Evander Holyfield. Since it ended up being a drab, the class decided to take over and turn on both of them with the akoti.... on both of them.

Ezekiel understood the situation quickly and knew what he needed to do. He took the abuse coming his way with grace and panache; joining in and laughing at himself. Omo boy 🙌🏾! Understanding the law of akoti is the beginning of wisdom as it saves you from more torture. Ride the abuse by smiling or joining in and making fun of yourself. Even if it hurts, do not show it. Ezekiel understood this and the class got bored and the focus shifted from him over to Ayodeji.

Ayodeji Ojo. My good friend from class 1v and still in the same class. Academically sound, a gentle spirit who enjoyed his school days staying out of the way of others but lacked one characteristic that was important in school at the time - he could not control his sensitivity to words. Hated to be teased or told off. He was not the only one but a lot of us learned as we saw the consequences are of not checking our reactions. Ayo did not. He was so distraught and close to tears that he reported the situation to a teacher. BIG MISTAKE!!!! In 2000’s, that will have been the right move but in the 80’s, where the students ruled themselves and a lot that went on them will be handled by school authorities nowadays were overlooked and handled by the authorities of the day, the students themselves.

The teacher did turn up to tell the class off of making jest of Ayo and wanted us to see the impact of this on him and what abuse was. All the students were looking remorseful whilst the teacher was talking to us as she was highly respected. I better behave because she was more than a teacher to me. Mrs. Ajayi. Deji Ajayi’s mum; both our Yoruba and Art teacher. To me, a guide, my teaching mentor, and a compassionate parent but more importantly, my next-door neighbour who oversees my growth and development; both in school and at home... you now get the full picture. She appealed to our better sense and judgment and left. The class was silent for 10 minutes then ... a burst of laughter. Ayo was not out of the neck of the woods. Actually, it got worse.

Poor Ayo. He thought by bringing in a teacher, the tide will change in his favour and the class will mind their business but no! The class went to another level. A delegate was sent to class 3k to bring Niyi Ogunlusi over as we needed someone to explain a theory to the class. I cannot remember who was dispatched but within 15 minutes, Niyi was in the class. Yes! The same Niyi! Some of you will be surprised that our ASP was much a rebel and trouble maker as was much as being academically sound. The akoti was about Ayo’s shorts and the angles on them. A lot of jokes were being thrown by people but suddenly, Niyi picks up a piece of chalk and writes on the board Ojo’s bottom is a displacement 😱! The whole roared and the laughter shook the class. So much that the VP next door popped out of her office. Mrs. Adegboyegba moved towards our door and the class went silent and Niyi found a seat. Ayo Ojo had a dilemma - should he tell again or keep quiet? I think he must have thought of his initial action and the fact that it has not stopped the tirade. He chose to keep quiet and as the VP looked and could not see what caused the laughter and once she could not see anything, she turned back.

The writing was on the wall.. sorry, I meant the blackboard... You know what I mean 😉... the joke stuck... Ayo recovered... He became one of the lads but the joke? Became a legend... I hope Ayo reads this and laughs .... a day when akoti became part of our folklore...